i've just finished writing the first of many essays that are coming my way
it feels strange - writing about constitutions and courts and such
i stop every now and then, after a period or a pause, and think to myself, what do i know about all this, really?
and then i think, nothing, and i go back to my books and my screen
and i read and i read and i read
and then i think, i know a little bit more now, i can write something
i can't wait for the day all these facts and reasons and arguments would come out of me like a bedtime story
and i really miss writing literature essays - where I am sure, so sure, that every single word is of my own making, every single thought my own conception and every single sentence sings from my soul.
Law is certainly different, but not a bad different, just different.
i guess, what i actually miss is writing without having to research or refer to other people's notions and reflections -
what i actually, truly and really miss is
the ability to be an authority of my words, my thoughts, my soul.
i am not there yet
i am coming though, slowly.