hello//archives//goodbye

Saturday, May 31, 2014

loss

He'd broken their trust, he'd broken Mom's heart, he'd broken their family. And now he was just going to marry this woman, as if none of that mattered. As if it were far easier to start over completely than to try put everything back together again.
The Statistical Probability of Love at First Sight, Jennifer E. Smith

--

it's so strange that when something happens to you, or even close to you, it becomes so much more real.
And the pain and the hurt, it all intensifies.
Everything sharpens and comes into focus
and you see it for what it really is.

--
it's hard growing up without a father, but it's easy when you have a fantastic mother who plays both roles.
--

a friend shared this and added,
'to my beautiful mother, you have never once made me notice the loss.'
i stared at her words 
and i cried and cried.

that's what it is, at the very core,
a loss
take away the mess of separating and severing and splitting,
it's a great, great loss.

--

do they know what they were going to do to their families before they do the deed?
they must, must they not?
how could they?

but i hope those that were left behind
would stay strong in their sadness,
would learn a lesson in their loss.

--

i read today
that a Thought is just a Thought
until you Act upon it
and that is a Choice.

but we are selfish, stupid and short-sighted, no?
and we make equally selfish, stupid and short-sighted Choices.

-----

lastly,
i have accepted that i can never be everything to you
i know that i can say,
'if you need to talk, call me'
i know that you won't.

i have learnt to say,
'if you need to talk, call someone'
anyone that you trust
because that person is not me
but i am happy that there are people who are there for you
and because you are okay,
that alone is enough.

but i am always here
and i hope you know that.

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