before you left, before you forfeited forever, I asked you to tell me something good..
you told me I was sweet, you told me I was nice, you told me I was smart.
i am no longer sweet, I've had to say so many goodbyes. there were friends leaving for another country, another continent, there were good times gone, there were slow deaths that came too suddenly. now, my soul is bitter and i can taste it on my tongue.
i am no longer nice either. i am not all that strong or all that tough. it kills me inside when she touches my hand and admires my strength and when he looks at me and calls me joy. it takes so much energy to smile and laugh and pretend. all i want to do is curl up and cry.
and i am surely no longer smart. i am disappointed. i've done everything wrong.
maybe that's why you left..
maybe you knew that i was going to fall and you didn't want to be here to witness it all.