Lately, I've been waking up to the sound of my sisters getting ready for school; to the sound of doors opening and shutting, the sound of water gushing in the shower, the sound of drawers sliding, cupboards creaking, feet shuffling and hushed talking. It's so nice to slowly drift into consciousness instead being rudely awakened by the loud cry of an alarm clock. And it's so nice to pretend to still be stuck in my dreams until my mom threatens me with her 'we're going to be late!' card.
This week, I got my first taste of working in a cubicle and its not too bad. The people around me are nice and i love them already. But I realized how most of my time now revolves around a windowless room instead of my home and that thought is kind of depressing. It hit me how crucial it is that I pick a good job in the future. Spending five days or more a week doing something I don't enjoy is going to suck big time.
On that note, I've yet to decide what to study. It's a constant battle between brains and heart, money and love, should and want. And now, more than ever, I miss the security of school, of knowing what to do and where to be.
But time, it doesn't wait. Even if I am not ready, it laughs and taunts and tells me to speed up, to catch up, to keep up.
But it's so hard. And I feel like a child; a child playing at life.
On a brighter note, it is good experience and i've learned to not take things too lightly & that being careless is only going to make my life harder the next day. And all that extra time i get with my mom and my dad's youngest brother is making me happy. And of course, all the cool things i see, learn and feel is pretty awesome. And people, always people, they fascinate me. HEE.
Deep breathes. One day at a time.