Sunday, November 04, 2012


First day of spm tomorrow. I'm feeling a strange mixture of emotions. Nostalgia, anticipation, nerves, impatience, panic, loss, excitement..

It's more than just a major exam this time. It's the end of my high school career. My last days in school. My last hours in my uniform. My last few precious moments with schoolmates. It's closing a chapter with the next one still unknown. Still wrapped with uncertainty. And it's scary but exciting at the same time.

Time feels like it has stopped just for me. I'm trapped in that little space between being a high school senior and someone else. It's weird how I'm seeing things through such narrow blinkers right now. Nothing seems important and everything seems capable of waiting until I'm ready. I'm no longer really a student but I'm not yet a graduate. My teachers can no longer help me or punish me. I'm not in their hands anymore. I'm on my own but not really.

It's limbo. A place where time stops, a place where no one can reach me, a place where everything seems just within touch but so far away.

Say a prayer for me tonight. Wish me good luck.

And I'll be back from wherever I'll be going in a month's time.


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