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Saturday, October 13, 2012

good + bad

the bad.

i went college scouting today.
but that's not bad.
what's bad is the fact that there's a high possibility that i most likely, probably, 99.99 percent have to do foundation/pre-U/STPM & out of those three, it's definitely STPM which means Form 6, which means a higher level of high school, which naturally kinda sucks for me.

i know that seems like the logical next step but i was hoping to skip all that and jump straight to diploma but that didn't seem like such a good idea after what i've learned today..

it's not that i don't want to go back to school, do homework etc etc. i don't want all that, of course but compared to the fact that i will be spending another year and a half studying for the sake of studying, studying things i have absolutely no interest in, studying just to score As, studying the week before my paper and forgetting everything the minute it ends, that's a very, very mild complain.

studying for the sake of studying..
that thought just irritates me.
i don't care how a soluble or insoluble salt is formed, i don't care how soaps and detergents work i don't care why waves carry energy the way they do, i don't care if my thigh bone is called a femur, i don't care. i don't need to care.

but here i am, spending five days a week, learning all that.
i have nobody to blame at this point because i, me, myself chose to take pure science stream and i do intend to do well in spm.

but what about after that? do i really have to repeat all that?

and i feel so guilty for choosing to study mass communications.
it seems like such a waste of my science education in high school and sometimes, i do wonder if i should do something else.

should i?

the good.

this is a reminder to myself of the bright side of things.

firstly, education is never wasted, even if you never put it to use, it'll somehow do some good stuff to your brain. Hence, never wasted.

secondly, spm is in two/three weeks and i'm super excited.
not for the exam but for the weeks to follow.

the first thing i will do after my last paper is download Mark of Athena and devour every word, every sentence, every chapter like nobody's business. it's been topping bestseller lists everywhere! it even knocked jk rowling's new book off the top spot in amazon's list, i think. oh yes, that's another book i want to read.
My add math tutor's wife who is also an English teacher at my school, but she never taught me before so i'll forever refer to her as my add math teacher's wife and not my english teacher ahha, has been reading it and seeing that book so close is just killing me inside.
And i've been waiting for it forever :(

patience, chyu ern, patience.

And the two days after spm ends, i'm watching Rise of the Guardians with some friends because it's just like us to make super advanced plans to get excited about and look forward to ;D
i can't wait! I'm such a total sucker for gorgeous animation.

And and, there has been so many ice-cream/subway/lunch dates, i've postponed in the name of studying-for-spm. So, yes, date debts do exist and i have plenty to pay back.

Most importantly, i can't wait to go back to slacking without the attached guilt that has been accompanying me this past few weeks every time i take an hour-long break from studying.

i would add to this list the fact that i'm excited for college; starting out in a new place, meeting new people, doing things i like, studying things i have a genuine interest in, having time to do things i've always wanted to but haven't had the space and time, etc etc but.. HAHHAHAH
OKAY, NO, STOP.
i refuse to bring myself down after working myself into such a good mood.

i'm just gonna put it aside for now, forget all this and focus on getting straight As and enjoying myself post-spm.

everything else will fall into place, i'm sure of it.
because faith is great and god is even greater :)

ps. longest, word-iest post in a very long time.

1 comment:

  1. No education is ever wasted....you already know that by now. College educations opens up possibilities to you but the journey after that takes more just A's but perseverance and determination

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