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Friday, June 29, 2012

How To Be A Supermodel

One: The Look 
Always look like you're angry at the universe for making you too pretty. 

Two: The Walk 
Trot. Aggressively, like you're a horse that's trying to avoid puddles.

Three: The Squint  
Squint like someone is bouncing sunlight off their watch and directly into your eyes.

Four: The Pout 
Get those lips out there. Purse your lips like you're trying to sip out of a straw that someone keeps moving away from you.

Five: The Pose 
Be mysterious. Always pose with one hand in your pocket as if to say, "I'm so mysterious, this hand in my pocket could be a hook hand. You don't know."\

Six: The Breeze 
Carry a giant oscillating fan with you at all times. No exceptions.

Seriously...I'm Kidding Ellen Degeneres 


Oh, Ellen, AHHAHHAHHAHHA.

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