hello//archives//goodbye

Monday, March 19, 2012

the one ship that never sinks

that's friendship.

recently made up with a friend who well, was ignoring me for awhile back then.

Exactly how it happened is a story I'm not quite willing to share to the world.
Because it isn't really my story alone to spill. And I think it's a little unfair to tell only one side of the tale.

But it started a couple of years ago. Until I've sat down and thought about it, I never realized how I had let it go on for so long. How both of us had managed to live a lie. A life of pretenses and fake smiles and laughter.

anyway, so, a couple of years ago, some complications happened to what was to me, a perfect friendship.
It got worse. Worse to a point that I was afraid of facing the one person who sat behind me in class all year long. The one person whom I spoke to every single day, in school, out of school, during school, after school. The one person who become more than just a classmate, who had became a permanent member of my close social circle.

I was afraid and like the chicken I was and still am, I froze him out.

I thought I was preserving our friendship but HAHAH, I think I single handedly killed it.

In my defense, there was really nothing else I could do. Really!

In retrospect, yes, I was cold and cruel. But it was the right thing to do. I mean, i felt it was the most unselfish decision and also, the fair thing to do for both our sakes.

Towards the end of last year, things really went downhill. We hardly spoke and earlier this year, we became strangers, literally. It killed me.

Somehow, we made up.
Over Cokes in mcDonald, I realized I'm over all that awkward dance of avoiding and ignoring. I no longer feel the need to curl into myself or sink into the ground or just escape when I'm stuck with him. I'm at ease again.

I'm with my friend again.

And I really, really hope he is too .

ps. super cheesy post, I know and I'm sorry :p

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