hello//archives//goodbye

Saturday, February 18, 2012

still searching

i'm so messed up and i need to just spew it out.


it's my final year of high school and i'm feeling the pressure of deciding what to study when i graduate.
family members are asking me, friends are asking me, teachers are asking me, strangers who find out that i'm in my final year are asking me.
and, honestly, i have no answer for them.

i want to do something i know i will enjoy but i'm so afraid of it not working out.
i want to do something that will give me something new each day.

i know that a job that challenges my creativity will be fulfilling and immensely satisfying
but what if, i'm not good enough?

in the small world that i live in now, people tell me that i'm good at what i do and i hope they are not saying that just to make me happy :p
but what if i come up short on a bigger scale?
what if i'm inadequately prepared for things the world presents to me?

then, i'll be stuck. it'll be a dead end.
okay, fine, the world won't end but i'll feel like such a failure!

but if i pick something more logic based, like accounting or engineering, where there are black and white rules to follow, i'm pretty sure i won't go wrong.
but i'll be just going through the motions.
it'll be just a means for me to continue living.

do i really want to spend five days or more a week doing something i don't enjoy?
i don't.
but sometimes, it's not matter of what i want to do, but what i should do.

i'm so messed up.
help me.

2 comments:

  1. don't worry too much. it is only human (or teenager!) for you to have this feeling. Life is all out decisions....the idea in making decision it to MAKE ONE. once you do that, all you have to do is put your heart and soul into it! There is nothing certain in life except for fact that you will stop breathing one day so in the mean time, stop worrying and start living! Remember if you like what you do, you will find way to do it better, but if you don't like what you do, you will only do what you have to do and there will be no fire or passion to do better! What you may think is crazy now may not necessary be so eventually....if you are good at it! The world is a different place now. If you cannot make it here, you can make it somewhere else...all you have to do is continue to believe in yourself...YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE OUR SUPPORT!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Chyuwyy!It's so true!The same thing happens to me.So now I'm really trying to find out what I like to do in the future. :)) Let's work hard together.HWAITING!:D

    ReplyDelete

tell me something