orthodontia

"Hell hath no fury like a teenager who wants her orthodontia removed," said Rob.

Handle With Care, Jodi Picoult

Because, uh, it's relevant :p
And because i love Jodi Picoult. She; to whom i always fall back to when i need a book good enough to make me cry and laugh and sigh.

the price of happiness

How much is a fluffy waffle with melted peanut butter in its pockets worth? What if you add a sliced banana and a scoop of vanilla ice cream? How much is it worth then?

Definitely not the price i paid. My crazy Nut told me i was ripped off.

And I was.

But I was also happy.

And ten bucks is a small price to pay for happiness ;)
Even if it's a temporary one and nothing, nothing, makes me happy like a peanut butter waffle.

it's heaven exploding in my mouth, it's a bear hug straight to my heart, it's a ticket to cloud nine for my brain, and to my tummy, it's comfort :)

today;

There are two things i want to tell you from this picture;

the first thing is.. i volunteered at Zoo Negara today! 

And it was oh-so-fun!

I made friends with a deer, called a tapir like it's my pooch, tried to make nice with a couple of kangaroo-dormouse hybrids, lugged loads of green leafy things around and of course, i cleaned poop...

And I was also on the other side of the fence :D

Right now, I'm feeling tired, but it's the good sort of tired. The sort that makes you feel like lying down on your bed with your eyes open but unseeing and your mind flying back in time as you try to recall every last little detail of the past few hours.

and the second thing is.. well, *smiles* HEH ;)

fearless

because i miss jacob reckless.

because his name alone is enough to send all kinds of nerve impulses crackling and jumping up my spine.

because his every word pierces through my skin and sinks somewhere deep within.

because his love, like a wildfire, sparks and burns and kills.

because his life; forever, fearless, found
Or at least I hope so.

...because it's a Friday
and it's wrong to do anything productive tonight :p

i was..

a cute baby ;) HEHEH. Kidding! (not)

My youth leader wanted old photos of me and my mama to put together something for Mama's Day celebration. And so, I deserted my math homework on the kitchen table and went on a treasure hunt in the forgotten crevices of my home where dust and memories are allowed to collect. Inside drawers that took Herculean strength to pull out, beneath stacks of faded bed covers and wrapped in clean white dust-bags, lay albums and albums of photographs from the good old days before digital cameras came into existence. It was painfully nostalgic to see a younger, skinnier version of my father and a denim-clad, very 90s replica of my mama.

And me; padded all over with baby fat like its an armor against time, chin-length hair that will never be cut that short again, tiny milk teeth bared in goofy smiles and eyes, eyes that only ever knew love.

I see my dad, my mom, my uncles, my grandma, my grandpa holding me and smiling, grinning, beaming. With joy? With love? With hope?

And I wonder if I had let them down; if I had, at any point in my growing up years, ever disappointed them, ever made them cry and yearn for the child I once was. Did I turn out the way they hoped I would? Do I still make them smile the way they did in the pictures, with joy shining from their eyes and hope hidden in their laughter?

I see me, hugging my uncle decked in his graduation robes and mortar board and posing with another uncle in matching football jerseys and I see the home I spend my babyhood years in, with its wooden balustrades and mattress-lined room where I practiced my somersaults without fearing the hard, unforgiving floor. And I wonder where the time has flown to.

I wonder if it would ever take mercy on me and slow down, even for just a little bit.

Here's me, desperate for more of these happy days.

Sustenance

“So much of the language of love was like that: you devoured someone with your eyes, you drank in the sight of him, you swallowed him whole. Love was sustenance, broken down and beating through your bloodstream.”

Nineteen Minutes Jodi Pocoult

And he sustains me, he keeps me alive, he keeps me sane.

An unusually worded text, a phone call a minute later, a hello that sounded a little too weary, a voice that soothes and heals and rights all the wrongs, a breaking down of walls and a shedding of armor and a laying down of swords.. a conversation that bled into the black of the night and into the dark of the dawn, a good night, a sweet dream, a promise; if I ever forget how much I need you, let me remember this night, when I felt so alone and lost, you were there.

.. a whispered thank you.

exodus

deliver us.